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Intellectual Euphemism of the Day

May 23, 2017

Cognitively frugal: It’s like when you shop for groceries, but only buy stale ideas, in-stock notions, corporate-brand aphorisms, and thoughts sold near, or after, their expiration date.

Idea Stores & Their Goods: The Hierarchy

7-Eleven = Limited range, lacking in freshness, and thoughts sold after their expiration date. It’s the home for vices in thinking: all anti-intellectualism, all the time.

Safeway-Jewel = Proverbial newspapers and magazine content. All corporate, all the time. Lots of anti-intellectualism and pseudo-intellectualism. Coupons get you excerpts of bigger ideas, but you’ll have to pony up elsewhere the entire item.

Aldi’s = The blogs of intellectual magazines. You get high-quality and freshness at affordable prices, but are disappointed in the selection and in-stock items.

Whole Foods/Trader Joe’s = The home of high-quality magazines, journals, and books. Nice range, excellent freshness, and everything is in stock. But it’s all expensive. This is where you are teased with paywalls.


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